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U of M | Minneapolis | St. Paul
Sunday
May 26, 2013
Have love problems? Ask the Doctor!
May. 09, 2013
 
Dr. Date,
May. 08, 2013
 
Dr. Date,
My boyfriend can be really obnoxious in public;  at a concert, he’s  the guy yelling dumb things at the stage, and everyone stares at us. I’ve tried to tell him to stop after he does it, and I never laugh, so I don’t know why he keeps doing it. It’s embarrassing, but I think telling him that would really hurt his feelings. What do I do?
—Dating That Guy
 
Lover Of Cray,
May. 07, 2013
 
Dr. Date,
May. 06, 2013
 
Dr. Date,
My guy and I are really great friends with another couple. The four of us are really good friends but lately the other couple has kept bugging us about doing a foursome. We’re flattered but we’re not ready for something like that. The other couple just won’t let it go, though, and it’s becoming awkward. How can we firmly tell them “no” without ruining the friendship we share?
—Just Friends
 
Just Swingers?,
May. 02, 2013
 
Dr. Date,
I keep seeing this one girl all around on campus. She is a friend; I am digging her and was wondering: Is it just a coincidence that I keep seeing her everywhere, or is something beyond my control hinting at something in the future?
—Only Fate Is What We Make?
 
Written In The Stars,
The universe is telling you something, and it’s very simple: Talk. To. Her.
May. 01, 2013
 
Dear Dr. Date,
As a long time reader, first time writer, I felt you were the best resource for my quandary. Over Spring Jam I got real weird and ended up hooking up with a freshman lady — twice. Based on the slew of texts she has been sending me, I’m getting the feeling that she wants this to be a regular thing. I, however, do not. How do I nip this in the bud while remaining moderately respectful?
    —Confused Senior
 
Dear Cradle Robber,
Apr. 30, 2013
Dr. Date,
I met this really cute guy in class, and we’ve gone out on two coffee “dates.” The problem is that on our second one, I saw him smoking a cigarette while he was waiting for me. I couldn’t get it out of my head throughout the entire date, and I could easily smell it after we had gone inside. He seems nice otherwise, but I think smoking is just so gross and unattractive. I can’t date a smoker! My friends think I should cut things off. What would you do?
—Sick Of Cigs
 
Get Ciggy With It,
More Dr. Date »
Overheard Something? Tell Us!
May. 09, 2013
 
Professor: “Go take a hit off of a baby’s head. It’ll get you high!”
—Science Teaching and Student Services building
 
Guy [walking past preacher]: “Yay, we’re all going to hell again.”
—Northrop Mall
 
“Do they really expect us to get up by 11:15 EVERY day?”
May. 08, 2013
 
“Hey do you want to see what I can do with my balls?”
 —Comstock Hall
 
Professor: “As some of you know, I was up until 2:30 a.m. grading. I’m not doing very well right now. I was also drinking beer.”
—Willey Hall
 
“It’s not naked if you’re covered in glitter!”
—Superblock
 
Guy 1: “I’ve gained so much weight since coming to this school. I used to be tall and beautiful.”
May. 07, 2013
 
Professor: “Give me the name of someone who is a female singer and sings really high.”
Two guys, simultaneously: “Justin Bieber?”
—Unknown
 
Girl 1: “My sister will visit me after the finals, and I don’t even know where to take her!”
Girl 2: “That’s crazy. You’ve been in Minneapolis for almost a year.”
Girl 1: “I don’t even know where that apple on the spoon is.”
—The Purple Onion Café
 
May. 06, 2013
 
Guy 1: “I lost interest in ‘Breaking Bad’ because of the ‘Walking Dead!’”
Guy 2: “That’s not possible!”
—Folwell Hall
 
“I want to tell my guests at a cookout: ‘Here’s a steak that I raised with care in my yard,’ not ‘Here is a hunk of meat I have been growing in my laboratory!’”
—St. Paul campus
 
“Contacts are like a little slice of condom on your eyeballs.”
—Middlebrook Hall
 
May. 02, 2013
 
Girl 1: “How do you know him?”
Girl 2: “The same way you do!”
Girl 1: “He fingered you while you were in a cow suit?”
—Dinkytown
 
Guy: “I do it for sex.”
—Locker room
 
May. 01, 2013
 
“I like birds, but there is something so very wrong about going to sleep to the sound of them.”
—McNeal Hall
 
TA: “I haven’t been to office hours sober since the start of the semester.”
—Unknown
 
Professor: “A bullet through your cortex MAY lower your IQ.”
—Unknown
 
“It’s so nice when it finally goes in.”
—Tate Laboratory of Physics
 
Apr. 30, 2013
“How was I supposed to know there was an Appleby Hall?! I sat in Applebee’s for a half hour waiting for you!”
—Science Teaching and
Student Services building
 
“I changed my car horn to sound like gun shots.”
—St. Paul Student Center
 
Guy, to another guy: “Do you have any friends that are girls?”
—Keller Hall
 
“I had my liver for lunch, so I’m all set!”
—Carlson School of
Management
 
More Overheard »
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